It Has Always Been Us

Before we get into this, let me perfectly clear here about my intentions, because intention matters, while the objective here is always to write something interesting, something worthy of your time, the writing just comes from my experience of life, what I am feeling and experiencing from within, this perspective of my experience is what I have to share, what else could I possibly share anyway. The vast majority of these words flowed out of my mind back in the spring, but for some reason they were not ready to see the light of day, so they just lived on my computer. Now that some time has passed, they seem willing to come into the light, hence the reason for the preface. Maybe these words are are meant for you to receive into your experience, maybe not. I do by level best to offer my perspective on a take it or leave it sort of basis, and this perspective is always on the move, shifting, changing, expanding and evolving, coming on just like the present moment does, because it is the present moment, and just like one moment to the next, it will always exist in a state of flux and expansion. In the billions of years this universe has existed, in all its vastness, and infinite galaxies, there hasn’t been one single moment that is exactly same as the one before or the next. The way I see it this whole experience is one big mystery dripping in irony, much like a dream. When I write about this sort of thing, it’s as much for me as it is for anyone else, it is a reminder to myself of what actually is, so with all that is in mind, I hope you are able to receive it as it was intended.

Human existence primarily seems to be made up all sorts of separate experiences, relationships, learning, work, struggle, pleasure, pain, learning, and growth and change, and everything in between, sometimes characterized in this existence by the highs and lows, the moments of pleasure and pain. All the moments we desire, that maybe we receive, but maybe we don’t. The moment of the sun across our face on a perfect white sand beach, striking up a conversation with a beautiful woman simply because you are interested in being in her field of feminine energy, or seeing those we love experience what they desire, or the material pursuits, buying that car we want, house or boat, all of these are the sort of experiences we might judge as the good stuff, there is no doubt desire is important and exciting part of the human experience, least we not forget that all the experiences are the musing of a life, and worthy of being experienced in their fullest richest nature. One might say that these experiences are the reason we are here.

Holding onto those words above, it also seems to me, this human experience brings with it a blind spot, a massive blind spot, brought into form by our perspective but we will get back to that later. Before we go there we need to dig a bit deep into this separateness thing, so I will circle back around to that later. We humans see the world in separate things, separate from ourselves, and the desire to act out in the external world to get what we want is learned as young children, which reinforces the belief in separate things, and this quickly leads to being fixated only on what we want, seeking the object of our desire as fulfillment to our internal being, as if somehow we need something outside of us to be whole and complete, let me be clear here, there is nothing wrong with desire, in fact it is an essential component of being human, it carries us forward as a species. Fire never would have been discovered if we didn’t desire warmth, it is necessary part of our experience, but we seem to be hardwired to become at least partially or fully blind to the rest of the experience though, it is a game, a game of hide and seek the universe is playing on itself, now you see me, now you don’t, as we put on the blindfold and focus on some future moment in time where we obtain the object of our desire, where by which we might somehow be whole and complete, we miss the whole point. We are quick to tell each other, enjoy the ride, live it up, and all the other one liners, because deep down we all know the truth, but the reality, this is not how we usually live, unless we do so by choice and intention, but then one day we wake up and realize that basically we are on autopilot, waiting for the next big hit of dopamine, I am speaking for myself, been there done that more than I can explain. It is quite easy to get caught up in it all, that’s why it is a game.

For some reason that I can’t fully explain, what is coming up and at you next needs to be in here, maybe it’s context, maybe it’s about the nature of each moment, whatever that reason is, I am listening to what I am being showed. I thoroughly enjoy cutting, splitting and stacking firewood, no idea why, but I do… Gripping the splitting maul in my hand, feeling its weight, taking the measure of a sizable piece of fresh cut oak firewood, with its unique pungent smell, swinging the maul and splitting it apart along it’s grain, always with the grain, never against it, the universe is like that in all things, the energy flow of our lives as well, the choice going with the flow of it, with the grain or in resistance to it, like trying to split firewood across its grain, it is a just struggle to go against the grain, it can’t be done, so instead just go with it.  To put it another way the universe is like a stream, you can fight the flow or just be curious what unique things will pass your way as you go with the flow down the stream, you can’t go faster than the flow, and you certainly can’t flow back upstream because that is in the past. It’s quite simply about being in that moment, no past, no future, only now. There is art in reading what the universe is offering, like reading the grain of wood or the flow of a stream, and receiving it with gratitude, occasionally you will hit a knot or sandbar and get some feedback, resistance, blockages, but that is part of it, it is simply a matter of reassessing and trying again, that is the whole point.

Let’s get back to that blind spot I mentioned earlier, it is in our perception of what is “real”, it seems on the surface that we are in some solid state, a constant, but we are really in a constant state of change, you only know me, because you can recognize me, because you have eyes, which are the window through which the universe becomes “real”, form only exists in relationship to other form, without us none of this matter and energy that has formed to create the “real” world would be there to be seen, which is why we are here, but what if the energy and matter that I was didn’t have a consistent shape, you know me as Joshua, but in the massive scale of the universe I am simply a flow energy, a cosmic whirlpool if you will, like a whirlpool in a stream I am ever changing, always a whirlpool, but never the same material or energy, just imagine saying, “hey I recognize that whirlpool, its always in the river right in that exact spot, we better name it. Let’s call him Joshua.” That is really what we are, we just can’t perceive it, we have the wrong perspective, because you can’t look back at yourself, only forward, just a whirlpool can’t see that it’s a whirlpool.  It seems very clear to me, whatever is doing us, is doing the same thing to everything else, call it God or whatever you like. 

One of my favorite teachers, Alan Watts was and is known for his ability in explaining how one can look behind the curtain of this “reality” we find ourself in. Finding curiosity and irony in the predicament. One of those ideas, relates to language, words, specifically nouns and verbs. In the English language verbs can’t exist without a noun, it has to be at least implied, such as “It is raining”, what exactly is “it”? There always has to be something taking action or being acted upon. That is a language construct that puts us in a real bind with the nature of what is. The Everything that exists is energy of some sort, in this universe there are actually no nouns, no things, there are only verbs, stuff made up of energy. That chair your sitting in right now is not a noun, as in it’s a chair, its actually a verb, the energy of the universe is chairing. All the energy coming together to form the function of a chair. Let that concept roll around in your mind awhile, play with it, see where it leads you. We are not different from the chair, we are not people, we are not a noun, we are the energy of the universe peopling. We are energy coming together into form so the universe can experience itself, then falling away, just as the whirlpool does. You might be wondering what all this has to do with anything, why does it matter, it matters because until you can see the nature of the predicament you are in, you can’t fully appreciate the irony of it all, you can’t open up perspective. Here we are the conscious energy of the universe, life it self, taking form, peopling, and yet we pretend we are not actually that thing. Instead, we see ourselves as our persona, Joshua in my case. The origin of the word people comes from the word persona, which comes from the ancient Greek, and literally meant, to wear a mask, like actors on a stage. Is that not what we do? The irony!

As conscious beings, we have the ability to see wonder in all that is in front of us, while I could judge swinging a splitting maul, splitting and stacking firewood as work or simply a chore that I have to do, I could also judge them the other way and see them as something fun and an accomplishment to undertake, the old “think positive" mentality, but then there is a third way, one that doesn’t judge as good or bad, positive or negative, but rather sees them for what they are, curious engagement with the “real” world, the world of form, created by the energy of the universe, in the moment, something to looked upon with childlike eyes, all in a perfect moment of happening, and the next and the next, and all moments that will ever exist into infinity. If we get too caught up in the having and the doing, we forget about the living as conscious beings in this universe, the musings of this life, how mysterious it all is, the things we get to experience and feel along the journey back home, back where we came from, the cosmos itself.  The separateness is simply part of the illusion, because without it, there would be no experience.

It’s always been us, it will always be us, death is merely part of the illusion, the conscious energy we vibrate, has always been here, it will always be here. Just I am creating this experience, so are you, each of us a localized consciousness, emerging from a single source. As much as you are here for me so I can have my experience, I am here for you, so you may have your experience, because back of all this, we are one in the same thing, the unified consciousness of the universe itself. With these eyes we perceive the energy of all that is, coming on into form, into the “real” world, our eyes are the window in which the universe looks out upon itself, experiences itself, whatever it is, we are it, and as humans we try make sense of it, we act on it, and we illustrate the story of universe. It really is the most beautiful and glorious masterpiece of all time, what a wonder, quite simply the greatest tale ever told.

For as long as it has been, and for as long as it will ever be, all there really is to do is just love each other and love each moment of the experience. It really is that simple. The purpose and meaning of this life, is to just be alive, simple as that! It has always been us, it always will be us, and we are going to be doing this same thing for eternity… There is no need to worry about what might happen or regret what did happen, there is only this moment as it arises and falls away in complete perfection.

I will leave you with a famous Zen Buddhism Quote - “Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.” The point is this, it doesn’t matter what you do in this life, it’s all about being conscious in each moment that arises and falls away, now and forever.

Joshua